Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
