AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
