went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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