Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
