Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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