yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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