seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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