I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
