Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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