he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
