ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
