so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
