the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
