You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We're too hungover to prance.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
