D3 body, D1 cock
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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