We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
