Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
