why didn't you poke me back
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
