so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
