toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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