We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
