she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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