I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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