My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
