So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
