I can text with my tongue
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
