:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
