I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
