Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
