Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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