Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How does it feel to date your dad?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
