OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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