he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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