Duck Duck Cougar?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
