I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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