I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
