Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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