Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
