YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
