I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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