it wasn't lemon gatorade
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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