god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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