I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
