Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
