Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Brb crying the tears of my youth
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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