Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
