? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
