I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
