whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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