so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
