bring money and cleavage
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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