spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
