watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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