walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
