there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
