You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
