Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
