Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
